God, Man, Wife & a Bridge

A man was riding his Harley beside a Sydney beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, The Lord said. 

'Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to New Zealand so I can ride over anytime I want.'

The Lord said; 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking, the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'
The biker thought hard about it for a long time. Finally, he said,
'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy'.

The Lord replied;
'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?

Please find below an useful article (Click on the image to enlarge)
Thanks: Times of India Pune Edition Dt. 15-10-2010

Your kind attention is invited to go through this article.

EATING FRUIT...

We all think eating fruits means just buying fruits, cutting it and just popping it into our mouths. It's not as easy as you think. It's important to know how and when to eat.

What is the correct way of eating fruits?

IT MEANS NOT EATING FRUITS AFTER YOUR MEALS! * FRUITS SHOULD BE EATEN ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.

If you eat fruit like that, it will play a major role to detoxify your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.

FRUIT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD. Let's say you eat two slices of bread and then a slice of fruit. The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it is prevented from doing so.

In the meantime the whole meal rots and ferments and turns to acid. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil....

So please eat your fruits on an empty stomach or before your meals! You have heard people complaining  every time I eat watermelon I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats up, when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet, etc  actually all this will not arise if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach. The fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas and hence you will bloat!

Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, and dark circles under the eyes all these will NOT happen if you take fruits on an empty stomach.

There is no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruits become alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter. If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruits, you have the Secret of beauty, longevity, health, energy, happiness and normal weight.

When you need to drink fruit juice - drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT from the cans. Don't even drink juice that has been heated up. Don't eat cooked fruits because you don't get the nutrients at all. You only get to taste. Cooking destroys all the vitamins.

But eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it. You can go on a 3-day fruit fast to cleanse your body. Just eat fruits and drink fruit juice throughout the 3 days and you will be surprised when your friends tell you how radiant you look!

KIWI: Tiny but mighty. This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, vitamin E & fiber. Its vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.

APPLE: An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoids which enhances the activity of vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.

STRAWBERRY: Protective Fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits & protect the body from cancer-causing, blood vessel-clogging free radicals.

ORANGE : Sweetest medicine. Taking 2-4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones as well as lessens the risk of colon cancer.

WATERMELON: Coolest thirst quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione, which helps boost our immune system. They are also a key source of lycopene �€” the cancer fighting oxidant. Other nutrients found in watermelon are vitamin C & Potassium.

GUAVA & PAPAYA: Top awards for vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber, which helps prevent constipation. Papaya is rich in carotene; this is good for your eyes.

Drinking Cold water after a meal = Cancer! Can u believe this?? For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

A serious note about heart attacks HEART ATTACK PROCEDURE': (THIS IS NOT A JOKE!) Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. Sixty percent of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.

To whomsoever it may concern

An useful article from  Times of India, Pune Edition Dt. 12-10-2010 (Click on the image to enlarge)

The power of Superstar

THERE ARE NUMEROUS ONE LINERS ABOUT RAJINI KANT WHICH ARE NOT ONLY HILARIOUS BUT SHOWS THE IMPACT OF THE ACTOR IN INDIAN CINEMA WHO IS A GREAT HUMAN BEING AS WELL. HERE ARE SOME; (PL. NOTE THAT ME TOO A DIE HARD FAN OF RAJINI, I LOVE THESE ONE LINERS)

1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea. 
2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. ...He is pushing the earth down. 
3. There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live. 
4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile. 
5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero. 
6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover. 
7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish. 
8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin. 
9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs. 
10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door. 
11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes. 
12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it. 
13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards. 
14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off. 
15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain. 
16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone. 
17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry. 
18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. 
19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes. 
20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice. 
21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013. 
22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day. 
23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost. 
24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano. 
25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear. 
26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved. 
27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club. 
28. Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection. 
29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai. 
30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book. 
31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold. 
32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there. 
33. Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth. 
34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret. 
35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it. 
36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai. 
37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird. 
38. Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you. 
39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars. 
40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep. 
41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The result? Mother Teresa. 
42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man. 
43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray. 
44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac. 
45. Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter. 
46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge. 
47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth. 
48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille. 
49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks. 
50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks. 
51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name. 
52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did. 
53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet. 
54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated. 
55. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth. 
56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. 
57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance. 
58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost. 
59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. 
60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself. 
61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows. 
62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. 
63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost. 
64. Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is. 
65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds. 
66. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult. 
67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself. 
68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born. 
69. The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday. 
70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out. 
71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin. 
72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want. 
73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth. 
74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean. 
75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet. 
76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon. 
77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call. 
78. Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates. 
79. Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's. 
80. Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths. 
81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth. 
82. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist. 
83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way. 
84. Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog. 
85. Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear. 
86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”. 
87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up. 
88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. 
89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can hide from Rajinikanth. 
90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction. 
91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world. 
92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on. 
93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth. 
94. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth. 
95. Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors. 
96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror. 
97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy. 
98. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. 
99. Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
100. Rajnikanth doesn’t answer nature’s call nature answers Rajnikanth’s call. 
101. Rajnikanth can double click 2 icons at the same time.

Beware do not answer every question of Wife

WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?


HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!


WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'


HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.


WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?


HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.'
WIFE: 'You would?'
HUSBAND: .......?


WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?'


HUSBAND: 'Sure, it's a great house.'


WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?'


HUSBAND: 'Probably, it is almost new.'


WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'


HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.'


WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?'


HUSBAND: 'No, I'm sure she'd want her own.'


WIFE: 'Would she wear my shoes'


HUSBAND: 'No, her size is 6.'


WIFE: -- silence .......


HUSBAND: 'shit'.. 

Mother's Birthday

MOTHER MARY PRAY FOR US

Our Lady of Good Health Veilankanni festival was celebrated at St.Ignatius Church, Khadki Pune on 8th September 2010 to celebrate the birthday of our beloved mother.  A small video of Procession is presented below.  

Had your Lunch ?

A Gujarati, a Madrasi and a Sardaar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.


They were having lunch. As Gujju opened his lunch box he angrily said, "Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."


The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Idli Sambhar... again! If I get idli sambhar one more time I'm going to jump off too."


The sardaar opened his lunch and shouted with anger, "Parotha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I'm jumping too."


The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.


The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.


The sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, Gujju's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!"


The Madrasi's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him dossa! I didn't realize he hated idli sambhar so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the sardaar's wife.
..
..
..
The sardaar's wife said,


"Don't look at me. He used to make his own lunch."

Enthiran (the Robot) - Trailer

It is the costliest Indian film ever made. Enjoy the trailer in the following link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNXHveyzUvY&feature=player_embedded

Never give up

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. 



He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. 



As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon,
everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off! 

MORAL : 
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. 



Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less