Beware do not answer every question of Wife

WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?


HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!


WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'


HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.


WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?


HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.'
WIFE: 'You would?'
HUSBAND: .......?


WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?'


HUSBAND: 'Sure, it's a great house.'


WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?'


HUSBAND: 'Probably, it is almost new.'


WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'


HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.'


WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?'


HUSBAND: 'No, I'm sure she'd want her own.'


WIFE: 'Would she wear my shoes'


HUSBAND: 'No, her size is 6.'


WIFE: -- silence .......


HUSBAND: 'shit'.. 

Mother's Birthday

MOTHER MARY PRAY FOR US

Our Lady of Good Health Veilankanni festival was celebrated at St.Ignatius Church, Khadki Pune on 8th September 2010 to celebrate the birthday of our beloved mother.  A small video of Procession is presented below.  

Had your Lunch ?

A Gujarati, a Madrasi and a Sardaar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.


They were having lunch. As Gujju opened his lunch box he angrily said, "Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."


The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Idli Sambhar... again! If I get idli sambhar one more time I'm going to jump off too."


The sardaar opened his lunch and shouted with anger, "Parotha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I'm jumping too."


The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.


The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.


The sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, Gujju's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!"


The Madrasi's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him dossa! I didn't realize he hated idli sambhar so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the sardaar's wife.
..
..
..
The sardaar's wife said,


"Don't look at me. He used to make his own lunch."

Enthiran (the Robot) - Trailer

It is the costliest Indian film ever made. Enjoy the trailer in the following link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNXHveyzUvY&feature=player_embedded

Never give up

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. 



He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. 



As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon,
everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off! 

MORAL : 
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. 



Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less 

The Parable of The Unforgiving Servant

Jesus told many parables to his followers/disciples.  Each one of them is a Gem giving great messages to humankind.   Here in this blog I have given one.  I will post  few such Parables told by Jesus himself in between my Posts.  Read, think, follow and enjoy:

Matt 18:23-35  Therefore the Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king, who wanted to reconcile accounts with his servants.  When he had begun to reconcile, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  But because he couldn’t pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, with his wife, his children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.  The servant therefore fell down and kneeled before him, saying, ‘Lord, have patience with me, and I will repay you all!’  The lord of that servant, being moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.  "But that servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants, who owed him one hundred denarii, and he grabbed him, and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’  "So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will repay you!’  He would not, but went and cast him into prison, until he should pay back that which was due.  So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were exceedingly sorry, and came and told to their lord all that was done.  Then his lord called him in, and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt, because you begged me.  Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, even as I had mercy on you?’   His lord was angry, and delivered him to the tormentors, until he should pay all that was due to him.  So my heavenly Father will also do to you, if you don’t each forgive your brother from your hearts for his misdeeds." 

Have You Join The 99 Club?

Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.
  
One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. 
This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while A lowly servant had so much joy. 
  
The King asked the servant, " Why are you so happy?" 


The man replied, " Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant. My family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies." 

The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, " Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club." 
  
The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired. 
  
The advisor replied, " Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is,  place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep."  
  
When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold coins! He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins. He wondered, " What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins! " 
  
He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and completehis collection.
  
From that day, the servant's life was changed. 
  
He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked. 
  
Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, " Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club. " He continued, 
  
" The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and striving for that extra 1 telling to themselves: -------*"Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life." 
  
We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! 
  
We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs and desires. That's what joining The 99 Club is all about."

Bitter Truth !!!!!!!

If you cross the " The North Korean " border illegally, you get ..... 12 years hard labour in an isolated prison .....

If you cross the " Iranian " border illegally, you get ..... detained indefinitely .....

If you cross the " Afghan " border illegally, you get ..... shot .....

If you cross the " Saudi Arabian " border illegally, you get ..... jailed .....

If you cross the " Chinese " border illegally, you get ..... kidnapped and may be never heard of - again .....

If you cross the " Venezuelan " border illegally, you get ..... branded as a spy and your fate sealed .....

If you cross the " Cuban " border illegally, you get ..... thrown into a political prison to rot .....

If you cross the " British " border illegally, you get ..... arrested, prosecuted, sent to prison and be deported after serving your sentence .....

Now ..... if you were to cross the " Indian " border illegally, you get .....

1. A ration card

2. A passport ( even more than one - if you please ! )

3. A driver's licence

4. A voter identity card

5. Credit cards

6. A Haj subsidy

7. Job reservation

8. Special privileges for minorities

9. Government housing on subsidized rent

10. Loan to buy a house

11. Free education

12. Free health care

13. A lobbyist in New Delhi , with a bunch of media morons and a bigger bunch of human rights activists promoting your " cause "

14. The right to talk about secularism, which you have not heard about in your own country !

15. And of-course ..... voting rights to elect corrupt politicians who will promote your community for their selfish interest in securing your votes !!! 

 

16. and right to fight election for MLA  or MP

  

Hats off ..... to the .....

A. Corrupt and communal Indian politicians

B. The inefficient and corrupt Indian police force

C. The silly pseudo-secularists in India , who promote traitors staying here

D. The amazingly lenient Indian courts and legal system.
That's why people like Afzal Guru are still alive, same will happen with Kasab.

E. WE self centered Indian citizens, who are not bothered about the dangers to our own country.

F. The illogically brainless human-rights activists, who think that terrorists deserve to be dealt with by archaic laws meant for an era, when human beings were human beings. 

Women are wiser than men

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers. The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days'.

Mollified, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God!' But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.

The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'

She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'

The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police....'

MORAL OF THE STORY:

I hope you know

Some nice Dilbert's One Liners

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen. 
  
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed. 
  
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce. 
  
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time. 
  
5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane. 
  
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.. 
  
7. Born free, taxed to death. 
  
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. 
  
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first. 
  
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. 
  
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants. 
  
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere. 
  
13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork. 
  
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. 
  
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius. 
  
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it. 
  
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills? 
  
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one? 
  
19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush,leave work at noon! 
  
20. If you can't convince them,confuse them. 
  
21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end. 
  
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. 
  
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers 
  
24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker. 
  
25. Someday is not a day of the week 
  
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. 
  
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy. 
  
28. The road to success.... Is always under construction. 
  
29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk. 
  
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.