Wednesday, October 13, 2010

To whomsoever it may concern

An useful article from  Times of India, Pune Edition Dt. 12-10-2010 (Click on the image to enlarge)


Thursday, September 30, 2010

The power of Superstar

THERE ARE NUMEROUS ONE LINERS ABOUT RAJINI KANT WHICH ARE NOT ONLY HILARIOUS BUT SHOWS THE IMPACT OF THE ACTOR IN INDIAN CINEMA WHO IS A GREAT HUMAN BEING AS WELL. HERE ARE SOME; (PL. NOTE THAT ME TOO A DIE HARD FAN OF RAJINI, I LOVE THESE ONE LINERS)
1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea. 
2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. ...He is pushing the earth down. 
3. There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live. 
4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile. 
5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero. 
6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover. 
7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish. 
8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin. 
9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs. 
10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door. 
11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes. 
12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it. 
13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
 
14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off. 
15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain. 
16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone. 

17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry. 
18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. 
19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes. 
20. 
Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice. 
21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013. 

22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day. 
23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost. 
24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano. 
25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear. 
26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved. 
27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club. 
28. Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection. 
29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai. 
30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book. 
31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold. 

32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there. 
33. Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth. 
34. 
Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret. 
35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it. 
36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai. 
37. 
Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird. 
38. Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you. 
39. 
Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars. 
40. 
Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep. 
41. 
Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The result? Mother Teresa. 
42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man. 

43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray. 
44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac. 
45. Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter. 
46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge. 

47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth. 
48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille. 
49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks. 
50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks. 
51. 
Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name. 
52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did. 
53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet. 
54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated. 
55. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth. 
56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. 
57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance. 
58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost. 

59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. 
60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself. 
61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows. 
62. 
Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. 
63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost. 
64. Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is. 
65. 
Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds. 
66. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult. 
67. 
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself. 
68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born. 
69. The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday. 
70. 
When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out. 
71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin. 
72. 
Rajinikanth knows what women really want. 
73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth. 
74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean. 
75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet. 
76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon. 
77. 
Rajinikanth can answer a missed call. 
78. 
Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates. 
79. Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's. 
80. Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths. 
81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth. 
82. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist. 
83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way. 
84. Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog. 
85. Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear. 
86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”. 
87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
 
88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. 
89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can hide from Rajinikanth. 
90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction. 

91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world. 
92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on. 
93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth. 
94. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth.
 
95. Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors. 
96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror. 
97. 
When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy. 
98. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. 
99. Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

100. Rajnikanth doesn’t answer nature’s call nature answers Rajnikanth’s call.
 
101. Rajnikanth can double click 2 icons at the same time.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Beware do not answer every question of Wife

WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?


HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!


WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'


HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.


WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?


HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.'
WIFE: 'You would?'
HUSBAND: .......?


WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?'


HUSBAND: 'Sure, it's a great house.'


WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?'


HUSBAND: 'Probably, it is almost new.'


WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'


HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.'


WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?'


HUSBAND: 'No, I'm sure she'd want her own.'


WIFE: 'Would she wear my shoes'


HUSBAND: 'No, her size is 6.'


WIFE: -- silence .......


HUSBAND: 'shit'.. 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Mother's Birthday

MOTHER MARY PRAY FOR US

Our Lady of Good Health Veilankanni festival was celebrated at St.Ignatius Church, Khadki Pune on 8th September 2010 to celebrate the birthday of our beloved mother.  A small video of Procession is presented below.  


Had your Lunch ?

A Gujarati, a Madrasi and a Sardaar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.


They were having lunch. As Gujju opened his lunch box he angrily said, "Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."


The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Idli Sambhar... again! If I get idli sambhar one more time I'm going to jump off too."


The sardaar opened his lunch and shouted with anger, "Parotha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I'm jumping too."


The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.


The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.


The sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, Gujju's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!"


The Madrasi's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him dossa! I didn't realize he hated idli sambhar so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the sardaar's wife.
..
..
..
The sardaar's wife said,



"Don't look at me. He used to make his own lunch."

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Never give up

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. 



He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. 




As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon,
everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off! 


MORAL : 

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. 




Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less 

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Parable of The Unforgiving Servant

Jesus told many parables to his followers/disciples.  Each one of them is a Gem giving great messages to humankind.   Here in this blog I have given one.  I will post  few such Parables told by Jesus himself in between my Posts.  Read, think, follow and enjoy:

Matt 18:23-35  Therefore the Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king, who wanted to reconcile accounts with his servants.  When he had begun to reconcile, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  But because he couldn’t pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, with his wife, his children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.  The servant therefore fell down and kneeled before him, saying, ‘Lord, have patience with me, and I will repay you all!’  The lord of that servant, being moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.  "But that servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants, who owed him one hundred denarii, and he grabbed him, and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’  "So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will repay you!’  He would not, but went and cast him into prison, until he should pay back that which was due.  So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were exceedingly sorry, and came and told to their lord all that was done.  Then his lord called him in, and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt, because you begged me.  Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, even as I had mercy on you?’   His lord was angry, and delivered him to the tormentors, until he should pay all that was due to him.  So my heavenly Father will also do to you, if you don’t each forgive your brother from your hearts for his misdeeds." 

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Have You Join The 99 Club?

Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.
 
 
One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. 
This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while A lowly servant had so much joy. 
  
The King asked the servant, " Why are you so happy?" 


The man replied, " Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant. My family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies." 

The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, " Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club." 
  
The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired. 
  
The advisor replied, " Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is,  place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep."  
  
When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold coins! He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins. He wondered, " What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins! " 
  
He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and completehis collection.
 
 
From that day, the servant's life was changed. 
  
He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked. 
  
Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, " Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club. " He continued, 
  
" The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and striving for that extra 1 telling to themselves: -------*"Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life." 
  
We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! 
  
We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs and desires. That's what joining The 99 Club is all about."

Bitter Truth !!!!!!!

If you cross the " The North Korean " border illegally, you get ..... 12 years hard labour in an isolated prison .....

If you cross the " Iranian " border illegally, you get ..... detained indefinitely .....

If you cross the " Afghan " border illegally, you get ..... shot .....

If you cross the " Saudi Arabian " border illegally, you get ..... jailed .....

If you cross the " Chinese " border illegally, you get ..... kidnapped and may be never heard of - again .....

If you cross the " Venezuelan " border illegally, you get ..... branded as a spy and your fate sealed .....

If you cross the " Cuban " border illegally, you get ..... thrown into a political prison to rot .....

If you cross the " British " border illegally, you get ..... arrested, prosecuted, sent to prison and be deported after serving your sentence .....

Now ..... if you were to cross the " Indian " border illegally, you get .....

1. A ration card

2. A passport ( even more than one - if you please ! )

3. A driver's licence

4. A voter identity card

5. Credit cards

6. A Haj subsidy

7. Job reservation

8. Special privileges for minorities

9. Government housing on subsidized rent

10. Loan to buy a house

11. Free education

12. Free health care

13. A lobbyist in New Delhi , with a bunch of media morons and a bigger bunch of human rights activists promoting your " cause "

14. The right to talk about secularism, which you have not heard about in your own country !

15. And of-course ..... voting rights to elect corrupt politicians who will promote your community for their selfish interest in securing your votes !!! 
 
16. and right to fight election for MLA  or MP
  

Hats off ..... to the .....

A. Corrupt and communal Indian politicians

B. The inefficient and corrupt Indian police force

C. The silly pseudo-secularists in India , who promote traitors staying here

D. The amazingly lenient Indian courts and legal system.
That's why people like Afzal Guru are still alive, same will happen with Kasab.

E. WE self centered Indian citizens, who are not bothered about the dangers to our own country.

F. The illogically brainless human-rights activists, who think that terrorists deserve to be dealt with by archaic laws meant for an era, when human beings were human beings.