How to make a woman happy!

It is not difficult to make a woman happy. 

A man only needs to be: 

1. a friend 
2. a companion 
3. A Lover 
4. a brother 

5. a father 
6. a master 
7. a chef 
8. an electrician 
9. a carpenter 
10. a plumber 
11. a mechanic 
12. a decorator 
13. a stylist 
14. a sexologist 
15. a gynecologist 
16. a psychologist 
17. a pest exterminator 
18. a psychiatrist 
19. a healer 
20. a good listener 
21. an organizer 
22. a good father 
23. very clean 
24. sympathetic 
25. athletic 
26. warm 
27. attentive 
28. gallant 
29. intelligent 
30. funny 
31. creative 
32. tender 
33. strong 
34. understanding 
35. tolerant 
36. prudent 
37. ambitious 
38. capable 
39. courageous 
40. determined 
41. true 
42. dependable 
43. passionate 
44. compassionate 

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 
45. give her compliments regularly 
46. love shopping 
47. be honest 
48. be very rich 
49. not stress her out 
50. not look at other girls 

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 

51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes 

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 
54. Never to forget: 
* birthdays 
* anniversaries 
* arrangements she makes 


NOW HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY: 
It is a Lot Easier and shorter 

1. Get naked 
2. Bring Food & Alcohol


Thanks: Fantoosh.com

Childish

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morningAlex.'   'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is this? 'The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.' 
Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, 

'Which service, the 8:15 or the 10:30 ?'

Lead a Debt free life

We all dream to achieve our multiple goals in life of buying things such as cars, home and other luxuries by a combination of our own funds and borrowings. Sometimes we go overboard by stretching our budget too far than what we can afford.  

Given below are a few checkpoints that could keep your lives stress-free and eventually make you debt-free even when you are comfortably positioned to achieve your goals.

• Understanding how much debt /leverage you should take while planning to buy your home/car/holidays
• Planning your finances that lead you to become debt free?
• Learning to manage your home/credit card or personal loan account

Here's how you could go about achieving a debt-free life; this is however not an overnight thing. It has to be executed in phases and it will take time, focus to ensure that you reap the desired results.

Assess your problems

This becomes absolutely pertinent to start off on your goal to achieve a debt-free life, it is also important from the perspective of doing some damage control. When things go awry, there is an immediate need to plug the leaks even before digging deeper to analyse the situation.

As part of the problem assessment stage, you will be required to jot down:

• Who do you owe the money to?
• How much do you owe?
• What is the interest rate across each of these loans?

While you do this exercise, you may also make a mental note of which ones to plug first -- the one with the least outstanding amount and with the highest rate of interest should be on your priority list. For example: Credit card overdue, personal loans should be the first ones to knock-off your list.

Change your lifestyle

If you overspend as a habit, it may be time to change your lifestyle. Keeping tab on your expenses can go a long way in enhancing your savings, which can in turn be routed towards loan closures.

Swiping your card may be the easiest thing to do at the petrol bunk, grocery store etc., but as a policy try to use cash for smaller purchases, this will help you keep a tab on how you use your credit card.

It may also help your create a budget and stick to you it in the long haul.

In the wake of getting some luxuries, you could have gone overboard with your EMIs, you may need to conduct a financial feasibility to ensure that you do not have to compromise on your basic needs. On a thumb rule basis, your overall EMI commitment should not be more than 30 per cent of your net earnings.

Need versus want

When you need something, you should have it -- when you want something, you can have it but you can do without it as well. Need arises from necessity, wants arise from desires.

This is a primary question that you should answer while you do your shopping and when you avail your loan as well.

You may aspire for a high-end gadget, although you may not be able to afford the same. This would lead to a scenario, where you borrow and burden yourself with a loan liability, despite the fact that the individual could definitely survive without the product under consideration.

This is a typical situation especially amongst the newbies who land up in jobs with attractive pay packets. There are however, others as well who feel a sense of pride by owning the latest gadgets etc., and they too get caught in a debt trap.

Itemise your highest interest debts

These are typically your credit card overdues, personal loan, car loan -- ones you should gun to pay-off at the earliest, you can choose to make withdrawals from your savings/investments (liquid funds, term deposits, mutual funds etc.,) and lower the monthly outflow.

This can in turn be routed towards some short-term investment plans which can be pulled out to do a pre-closure on another debt with a high interest rate. This will allow you see your progress faster, and will make you feel good after each smaller debt is paid off.

Review your finances thoroughly, crunch the numbers, and see which method would be the most effective for your situation.

Don't borrow to close your outstanding loans

It may seem tempting to borrow at a lower rate to close the loan with a higher rate, but you are only getting into a vicious debt trap, avoid this to the maximum extent. Borrowing interest free amounts from relatives, friends may be a more viable option.

Final word

Paul Clitheroem once wisely quoted, "There are plenty of ways to get ahead. The first is so basic I'm almost embarrassed to say it: spend less than you earn". So true in more than one ways, if only we could satisfy ourselves within our earnings, then this world would be debt-free and ofcourse, many would have to shut down their businesses.

But, on a serious note, any debt should be assumed only after prudently considering financial feasibility.

Key takeaways...

Assess the problem, conduct some immediate damage control

Change your lifestyle, curb your spending habits

Use your credit card prudently

Ascertain whether you need it or want it spend only if you need it

Prioritise your debt and close them out starting with the highest interest rate / lowest outstanding amount

Courtesy: Rediff

Thanks : Anil Rego (In the second part of the 'I Dream' series Anil Rego)

In the first part of this series he explained how you could become a millionaire by 30!

Sardarji Jokes with due respect

PL. GO THROUGH THE FOLLOWING URL. HAVE A NICE DAY


http://www.thedesignershub.com/funhouse/sardarji_joke_1.asp

Attn: Govt. employees who get HRA

Financial advisors are often quizzed about how an employee House Rent Allowance (HRA) works.

Typically, an employee gets a certain amount of HRA. But often he either owns a flat or is about to buy one.

So, he is concerned whether on account of the ownership, he may lose the HRA deduction that he is entitled to.

The concern could also be the other way round: Since he is receiving HRA, he may not be eligible for home loan deductions.

Let's check if these fears are justified.

HRA is basically an allowance, part of your taxable salary.

It is not mandatory for the employer to give you HRA.

But, if your employer gives you HRA, you will get it irrespective of whether you own a house or pay rent. Like your salary, you will receive it monthly.

However, the law also provides that if the employee satisfies certain conditions, a deduction will be provided from the HRA received and only the balance amount would be subject to tax.

This deduction depends on the city you live in and the amount of rent you pay.

Let us first see how already owning a house is related to getting HRA.

The two are not connected. HRA and home loan provisions are two different issues under the Income Tax Act (ITA) and one does not influence the other.

So, you may own a flat or any number of flats, either in the same city you work in or anywhere else in India or abroad.

It won't influence the HRA deduction you are entitled to.

Conversely, whatever the HRA, your home loan deductions on the equated monthly instalments (EMIs) for the house you've bought or intend to buy would not be affected.

Let's move on to understanding your eligibility for HRA deduction and how to calculate it.

The first condition is that you have to be paying rent. That is what the allowance is meant for.

It is not necessary that you pay rent to only a landlord. You could live in your parents' house and pay rent to them.

If so, you're eligible for HRA deduction.

Only, in this case, the rent received will be taxable for your parents; if their total income is below the taxable limit, the entire transaction would be tax-free.

The basic exemption limit for a senior citizen is Rs 240,000 a year.

Split between both your parents, the total amount of rent could be as much as Rs 480,000 (Rs 240,000 multiplied by 2) without tax incidence.

So, you get your HRA deduction, they don't pay any tax and everyone wins.

The same structure cannot be adopted in the case of your spouse as the relationship between husband and wife cannot be commercial.

Husband and wife are supposed to live together under the same roof; they cannot charge rent from each other.

Where you live also influences HRA deductions.

In a metro city, you would be eligible for a deduction of up to half your salary (basic plus dearness allowance, if applicable). Else, the limit is up to 40 per cent.

So, HRA deductions could mean any of the following:

* Actual HRA received

* 50 per cent of salary for employees living in metros and 40 per cent otherwise

* Excess of the rent paid over 10 per cent of salary.

For example, Ashish earns a basic salary of Rs 60,000 per month.

He pays monthly rent of Rs 25,000 for an apartment in Mumbai.

The actual HRA he gets is Rs 20,000. His HRA deduction will be the least of the following three figures:

* Actual HRA received, that is, Rs 20,000

* Half of the salary, that is, Rs 30,000

* Excess rent paid over 10 per cent of the salary, that is, Rs 25,000 minus Rs 6,000 which is Rs 19,000

Therefore, the HRA deduction for Ashish would be Rs 19,000 and so, the taxable component of HRA would be Rs 20,000 (HRA received) less Rs 19,000 (HRA deduction) which comes to Rs 1,000.

Finally, do maintain the rent receipts or a copy of the lease agreement. These serve as a proof of having paid the rent.

Courtesy: Rediff

Charlie Chaplin's 3 Heart touching Statements

 
Nothing is permanent in this world, 
not even our troubles.. ! 
  

The most wasted day in life, the day 
in which, we have not laughed. 
  

I like walking in the rain, 
b'coz nobody can see my tears.  

Bunches of roses specially for you

Things you must know

WHEN A THIEF FORCES YOU TO TAKE MONEY FROM THE ATM, DO NOT ARGUE OR RESIST, YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW WHAT HE OR SHE MIGHT DO TO YOU.?? WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IS TO PUNCH YOUR PIN IN THE REVERSE, I..E IF YOUR PIN IS 1254, YOU PUNCH 4521.


THE MOMENT YOU PUNCH IN THE REVERSE, THE MONEY WILL COME OUT BUT WILL BE STUCK INTO THE MACHINE HALF WAY OUT AND IT WILL ALERT THE POLICE WITHOUT THE NOTICE OF THE THIEF.

EVERY ATM HAS IT; IT IS SPECIALLY MADE TO SIGNIFY DANGER AND HELP. NOT EVERYONE IS AWARE OF THIS.


(Beware do not try this if you are not threatened by a thief)

God, Man, Wife & a Bridge

A man was riding his Harley beside a Sydney beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, The Lord said. 

'Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to New Zealand so I can ride over anytime I want.'

The Lord said; 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking, the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'
The biker thought hard about it for a long time. Finally, he said,
'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy'.

The Lord replied;
'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?

Please find below an useful article (Click on the image to enlarge)
Thanks: Times of India Pune Edition Dt. 15-10-2010