Saturday, September 4, 2010

Please do trust women

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall.

They were unable to decide who would let go, until the woman gave a
 very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids and for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping.

A touching story of a husband

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her dressing gown
 and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room
, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'

The husband looks up from his coffee,
 
'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.

'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.

'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'

'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues.
 
'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'

'I remember that too' she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says
...

'I would have been released today.'


Tamil Jokes


Student: சுவாமிஜி  உலகம்  என்  இப்டி  சுத்துது ?


Swamiji: ஒரு  கோர்ட்டர் தண்ணி  அடிச்சா  மனுஷனே  சுத்தும் போது ,
3 கோர்ட்டர்  தண்ணி  இருக்குற  உலகம்  என்  சுத்த  கூடாது ?



**************


Wife: எங்க  இப்படியே  நான்  சமச்சி  போட்ட  எனக்கு  என்ன  கிடைக்கும்?



Husband: என்னோட  LIC பணம்  சீக்கரம்  கிடைக்கும் .


****************


பிகரோட  'பீச்'  மணல்ல  வீடு  கட்டி  விளையாடியதோட  அருமை,
பிகரோட  அண்ணன்  ரவுண்டு   கட்டி  அடிக்கும்  போது தான்  தெரியும்  . .



************


Man : எங்க  வீடுக்குள்ள  பாம்பு  வந்திடுச்சு  அப்புறம் பாம்பாட்டிய கூப்பிட்டு   அடிச்சோம்.

Sardar : அட  பாவிங்கள  பாம்பு  வந்ததுக்கு  பாம்பாட்டிய  ஏன்டா  அடிச்சிங்க.

Man : !!!!!!!!!!!



*************




ஒரு  கேர்ள்  ரோட்ல  தனியா  வரா.

Rowdy : என்னமா  கண்ணு  இப்படி  தனியா  வந்து  மாட்டிகிட்டியே  ?

Girl : கண்ணா  பிகரு தான்  கூட்டமா  வரும்,ITEM சிங்கிளா  தான்  வரும்.


**************



SARDAR DETECTIVE

A policeman was testing 3 Singh brothers who were training to become detectives.

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the
first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. 'This is your
suspect, how would you recognize him?'

The first Singh answers, 'That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!' The policeman says, 'Well...uh.. .that's because the picture I showed is his side profile.'

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, 'This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?'
 
The second Singh smiles and says, 'Ha! He'd be too easy
to catch because he only has one ear!' The policeman angrily responds, 

'What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?'

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third Singh and in a very testy voice asks, 'This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? He quickly adds, 'Think hard before giving me a stupid answer.' 

The Singh looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, 'The suspect wears contact lenses.' The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. 

'Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that.' He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
 

'Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contactlenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation? '


'That's easy,' the Singh replied. 'He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.'

Laughter the best medicine

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
 


2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like
expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. 
Think about it. 


3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,
but what we are inside
So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration! 


4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,
walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking! 




5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!
 




6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said
he who never lived, cannot die! 




7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!


8. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends! 


9. All desirable things in life are either
illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!
 


10. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma GandhiAb aap bataaye kiski sune bapu ki ya chacha ki??? 




11. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,
When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la… 


 12. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that
90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!
 

Mother

EIGHT LIES OF A MOTHER~ 

1.
The story began when I was a child;
I was born as a son of a poor family.
Even for eating, we often got lack of food.
Whenever the time for eating, mother often gave me her portion of rice.
While she was removing her rice into my bowl,
she would say 'Eat this rice, son. I'm not hungry'. 
That was Mother's First Lie
 


2.
When I was getting to grow up,
the persevering mother gave her spare time for fishing in a river near our house,
she hoped that from the fishes she got,
she could gave me a little bit nutritious food for my growth.
After fishing, she would cook the fishes to be a fresh fish soup,
which raised my appetite. While I was eating the soup,
mother would sit beside me and eat the rest meat of fish,
which was still on the bone of the fish I ate.
My heart was touched when I saw it.
I then used my chopstick and gave the other fish to her.
But she immediately refused it and said 'Eat this fish, son.
I don't really like fish.' 
That was Mother's Second Lie.
 

3.
Then, when I was in Junior High School,
to fund my study,
mother went to an economic enterprise to bring some used-matches boxes that would be stuck in.
It gave her some money for covering our needs.
As the winter came,
I woke up from my sleep and looked at my mother who was still awoke,
supported by a little candlelight and within her perseverance she continued
the work of sticking some used-matches box.
I said, 'Mother, go to sleep, it's late,
tomorrow morning you still have to go for work.
' Mother smiled and said 'Go to sleep,
dear. I'm not tired.' 
That was Mother's Third Lie.

4.
At the time of final term,
mother asked for a leave from her work in order to accompany me.
While the daytime was coming and the heat of the sun was starting to shine,
the strong and persevering mother
waited for me under the heat of the sun's shine for several hours.
As the bell rang, which indicated that the final exam had finished,
mother immediately welcomed me and poured me a glass of tea
that she had prepared before in a cold bottle.
The very thick tea was not as thick as my mother's love,
which was much thicker. Seeing my mother covering with perspiration,
I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too.
Mother said 'Drink, son. I'm not thirsty!'. 
That was Mother's Fourth Lie.

5.
After the death of my father because of illness,
my poor mother had to play her role as a single parent.
By held on her former job, she had to fund our needs alone.
Our family's life was more complicated. No days without sufferance.
Seeing our family's condition that was getting worse,
there was a nice uncle who lived near my house came to help us,
either in a big problem and a small problem.
Our other neighbors who lived next to us saw that our family's life was so unfortunate,
they often advised my mother to marry again. But mother,
who was stubborn, didn't care to their advice,
she said 'I don't need love.' 
That was Mother's Fifth Lie.
 

6.
After I had finished my study and then got a job,
it was the time for my old mother to retire.
But she didn't want to; she was sincere to go to the marketplace every morning,
just to sell some vegetable for fulfilling her needs.
I, who worked in the other city, often sent her some money to help her in fulfilling her needs,
but she was stubborn for not accepting the money.
She even sent the money back to me.
She said 'I have enough money.' 
That was Mother's Sixth Lie.

7.
After graduated from Bachelor Degree,
I then continued my study to Master Degree.
I took the degree, which was funded by a company through a scholarship program,
from a famous University in America .
I finally worked in the company. Within a quite high salary,
I intended to take my mother to enjoy her life in America .
But my lovely mother didn't want to bother her son,
she said to me 'I'm not used to.' 
That was Mother's Seventh Lie.
 

8.
After entering her old age,
mother got a flank cancer and had to be hospitalized.
I, who lived in miles away and across the ocean,
directly went home to visit my dearest mother.
She lied down in weakness on her bed after having an operation.
Mother, who looked so old, was staring at me in deep yearn.
She tried to spread her smile on her face;
even it looked so stiff because of the disease she held out.
It was clear enough to see how the disease broke my mother's body,
thus she looked so weak and thin.
I stared at my mother within tears flowing on my face.
My heart was hurt, so hurt, seeing my mother on that condition.
But mother, with her strength, said 'Don't cry, my dear.
I'm not in pain.' 
That was Mother's Eight Lie.


After saying her eighth lie, She closed her eyes forever!